The chain reaction of evil must be broken

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. The chain reaction of evil must be broken or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

peace and blessings,
Tony

Tony LoRe
CEO/Founder
Youth Mentoring Connection / Urban Oasis

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools - MLK

A young woman is planning the funeral of her fiancé, instead of their marriage. A nine year old girl wanted to be inspired, but now her life has expired. A federal judge will now face his final judgment. These things blamed on what has been called a “senseless” act of violence by a crazed gunman at a supermarket in Arizona. I submit that it was not a senseless act but the inevitable reflection of a culture of hate speech and real violence.  Responsible sense will tell you that hate only engenders more hate. When you attempt to use fear-based rhetoric to gin up the populace you will succeed…and there is always someone unstable enough to embody all the collective vitriol and translate it into absurd and often deadly action. Don’t let it be lost that this is how the great American whose life we honor today lost that life at the hands of an assassin. In his own words:

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
1/15/29 - 4/4/68

 "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. The chain reaction of evil must be broken or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

On this day, as our nation pauses to celebrate the legacy of Reverend King, let us pledge to adopt a more civil tongue, one modeled after his rhetoric which was designed to inspire us to our higher selves instead of motivating through our fears. In the face of ugly discrimination, the debasement of a people and hate spewed at him from every corner, Dr. King spoke of love and brotherhood, of hope and dreams.

Christina Green
 9/11/01 - 1/8/11

Now, in the wake of the tragedy in Tucson the question is being asked: can we come together and change the direction of our discourse in this country?  The cynic in me is doubtful, but the human in me can hope.  Thus, today as the nation celebrates the date of birth of one of it’s icons, let us not forget how Dr. King met his end.  Moreover, let us remember how he inspired with his rhetorical gift and pledge to work to increase the light, increase the love and increase compassion.  At the very least, let us begin to speak with more honesty, integrity and civility, lest we move one step closer to perishing together as fools.



Humbly,

Tony

Tony LoRe, CEO & Founder

Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis

 

Maybe fighting IS the answer

Edgar is kicked out of school for constant fighting. So, he sits in my office and tells me how his mentor has helped him see himself differently and he doesn’t start as many fights as he used to (progress, not perfection)

   ”but they come at me, and I have to defend myself”. 

   “Who comes at you?” I ask. 

   “My enemies. I’m in a crew (gang). “Yeah, it’s hard to get out. We protect each other and they all know I can fight.”

   “How’s that working for you?”

   “I try to stop fighting because I’m getting in too much trouble and I want to graduate…and it’s hurting my mom. But the fight keeps coming to me.”

He’s a very smart young man. So, I throw a metaphor at him. There’s an old legend about Ghandi confronting a Cobra on his epic salt march. He was sitting amongst his followers when a cobra slithered into their midst. Everyone scrambled to avoid this creature with the lethal venom, but Ghandi simply sat there in the lotus position as the snake crawled across his legs and then exited the clearing. When the people asked him why he wasn’t afraid of the cobra’s bite, Ghandi replied that “I simply gave him nothing to fight against”.

   He gets it. “Because I walk around with fighting inside of me, fights find me.”

"Yeah", I say “you’re a fight magnet”.

   We talk awhile longer. He knows that something has to change. So, I try our 5 question process:

“So, what are you doing that brings these fights to you?”

   His answer ranges from his involvement in the crew to old rivalries and his reputation as a fighter.

“When does it usually happen?”

   We talk about time and place and triggers to fighting.

“What negative shit happens because of all this fighting?”

   He talks about getting kicked out of school, his mom and dad, fear about his future prospects. Interestingly, he never mentions the cuts, black eyes, swollen fists, etc.

“What benefit do you get out of it?”

   “I love to fight!”

This statement will be the key to our solution. He loves the challenge. He loves the physical exhilaration. He feels alive.

“What could you do to get all of those benefits without the negative stuff like getting kicked out of school and upsetting your mom?”

He explores his options; discusses joining the marines (I resist lecturing or interrupting and just let him work through it); football (but they don’t have a team in the only school we can get him into now); and boxing. Boxing, that’s it.

We make an agreement. Edgar promises not to instigate any fights and if a fight comes to him he will try to walk away two times before he defends himself by fighting back (progress, not perfection). In return I’ll get him into a boxing program.

So, I call Shelly, an ex-employee of YMC who has connections to a boxing gym in South Central LA. She has seen what a great outlet boxing can be for young men from the hood and agrees to make the introduction. We meet Edgar at the gym, and the old gentleman who will be his trainer greets him and tells him “I look at you walk in here and I can tell you are a fight magnet…” Edgar looks at me and smiles. We’re all on the same page.

I see how respectfully Edgar listens to the seasoned trainer. I see him soak up the energy of the gym. He’s at home here. And he can’t wait to get started.

Later that night I get a text from his mom, thanking me, Hoolie and all of the people at YMC with phrases that I don’t have to translate even though I don’t speak Spanish:

   “Muchas, muchas gracias”

   “Corazon gracias”

   “Y a todos su personal”

The following night I get the text from Edgar that will make Hoolie cry:

   “Hey man…I just wanted 2 know if u were gonna show up at the gym 2morow and let u know that I’m no longer 4rm the crew…I’m out.”

He asks me for his mentors number (he lost his phone and thus her number) so that he can text her too.

I love my life,

Tony

Founder/CEO
Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis

Founder
Boarding House Mentors

Tony's Blog: Afghanistan? Gang Payback, Gang Sweeps...

" I have come into this world to see this:

       the sword drop from man's hands

                         even at the top of their arc of

                              anger because we have finally

                                   realized there is just

                                one flesh we can wound."
             

                                                                      Hafiz

11-year-old boy is one of two shot dead near L.A. Convention Center

It is a sad Indictment of our society and community when it takes the death of an 11 year to make the story of two people being shot and killed newsworthy. Also while these tragedies occur all over LA this one happened minutes away from our office