Giving Thanks

This week at BEATS, our mentee/mentor matches got together for a Thanksgiving party where each group sat down and came up with a menu, guest list, activities, and a list of people not invited to their ultimate fantasy holiday dinner. Our groups really got into the project. They were able to invite anybody (past or present) so we had guest appearances from the king of pop himself, Michael Jackson, to funny guy Kevin Heart. Meanwhile the food was being prepared by Chief Ramsey in the kitchen. We had lots of fun activities for all ages- some guests watched old movies, played guitar hero, and some talked amongst themselves while others took a nap before the big meal. But not the basketball fans- they couldn't miss all the fun happening outside where Michael Jordan was holding a dunking contest. During the group presentations, the room was full of laughter and everyone had so much to be thankful for.

BINGO!!

How many of you remember playing BINGO in school, your teacher calling out the numbers, and you sitting on the edge of your seat because you almost have five in a row? Remember how much fun and competitive it was? Those were the good old days. Now imagine playing BINGO in an interactive way -getting up, walking around, and trying to fill in the blank spots with names of people in the room, matching them with an interesting fact no one would have guessed. And the prize is finding out who your mentee/mentor matches are for the next nine months! This game was so much fun for both mentors and mentees. I saw a mentor dancing and singing, “ BINGO, bingo, bingo!” Other than seeing them discover who their matches were, that was the highlight of the day. That, and knowing everyone was enjoying themselves.

Guess what folks...money CAN buy happiness!

up to a point. 

In a program session last year I took one of my typical forays off the path of our intended agenda as the discussion became about understanding the importance of using money wisely; understanding the concepts of budgeting, equity, etc., etc.

After what I thought was a good eye-opening conversation, one of the adults in the room dismissed the whole thing and lectured us all that “money doesn’t buy happiness”, and warned the youth not to focus so much on money as we had for the past 20 minutes. While I agree (and the research does too) that focusing exclusively on money and material things makes us more solitary and selfish, I have also seen the pain and struggles that our youth go through because of the lack of financial resources in their homes and communities. I have also seen poor money management cause extreme financial hardship and jeopardize entire families’ abilities to stay in their homes. There is a definite correlation between homelessness and lack of happiness. Be careful of simple bromides.

So, I was interested to read about a new study by two Princeton economists (Kahneman and Deaton) who claim to have discovered the threshold where money and happiness part ways.  They claim that the number is an annual income of $75,000. They aren't saying that you need to make that amount of money to be happy.  You can be happy at any level.  However, happiness seems to increase as income increases until you hit that number.  Once income increases above 75k there is no concurrent increase in reported levels of happiness. 

My suggestion then is, if you are making more than 75k per year, the excess doesn’t buy you any more happiness so why not donate it to Youth Mentoring Connection ;-). Of course, I’m kidding. This is more complex than that. There are differences in cost of living from one locality to another and one needs to plan for a secure future when income may drop and many other factors.  And I certainly know many very happy people who are making far less than $75,000. The important thing is to understand that once our basic needs are met we should be conscious of factors in play that cause us to overemphasize acquisition and material things and understand that life fulfillment will come from our participation in our shared humanity. You see, other studies indicate that forgoing the bigger house, fancy watch and status car in lieu of spending one’s money on things that bring ineffable rewards tend to lead to more positive feelings. True harbingers of happiness are more tied to being a part of something good, feeling respected, being in control of your life and having the love and support of friends and family.

Respectfully,


Tony

Tony LoRe
CEO/Founder, Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis
Founder, Boarding House Mentors