From Thugs To Hugs

Manny was too hard core for someone so young. He was 12 years old, full of anger, flashing gang signs and defiant to all of our staff, especially Free Harris.  As a Latino male, Manny had been trained by his ‘hood’ to hate black people like Free. But Free didn’t see a rage-filled thug that others described (despite the fact that Manny called him a racial slur the first time they met).  Instead Free saw a young man, alive with the fire of youth who had never been given a chance, until he came to YMC.  Free kept showing up consistently, with love, to deliver the message “You have gifts to offer this world.”  “You were born with a purpose and together it’s our job to discover it.”  At YMC Manny was able to explore and understand the wounds that made him retreat behind the gangster image.  Eventually the real Manny began to emerge: a gentle, peaceful soul that found healing in our community.  One day in a group of young men Manny told the story of how this loving black man transformed his heart.  Then Manny got up, walked across the room and embraced Free with a deep, soulful hug.  It became Manny’s trademark.  He had a knack for sensing the perfect moment to step in and offer an embrace to another young man ready to make the same move towards life that Manny had made. Manny made the move from thugs to hugs.

The final tactic in our master plan was to give Manny one of the coolest mentors ever - radio and TV personality Chuey Martinez, who has been described as “the Latino Ryan Seacrest” and “the next big thing to hit Hollywood”.  Chuey approaches mentoring like he does everything else - he shows up big every time.  It’s a great relationship.  Manny lights up when he sees Chuey and they always greet each other with a big hug.  Yep, turns out they are both huggers.

Last night Manny showed up in my office to thank me for all he has received from YMC and for the person he has become.  He spoke with pride about his improving grades.  I could see a man emerging from the former gang member. When we first met him, Manny told us he was going to drop out.  Now, Manny is going to graduate, like 96% of our mentees.  Then he thanked me for teaching him to be a peacemaker.  He said he visited one of his ex-rival’s homes, submitted to a “pat-down” and, negotiated a peace agreement that ended in his bitter rival embracing him.  They had crossed over, from thugs to hugs. 

Just as Manny finished telling his story, Chuey showed up, almost on cue, and you can guess how they greeted each other!

So you can see why I shed a tear when Manny and Chuey left my office.  But what you can’t see is my heart breaking, because the program that Manny relied on for three years will shut down -- unless we can raise $160,000 in December and January.  Almost 160 mentees and mentors will be without the structure of YMC’s Odyssey and Hero’s Journey programs. 

 

Please give Manny back the program that changed his life and give others the same opportunity.  Anything you can do will help. 

Can you also identify just 5 friends and personally ask them to help us raise these funds?  Be a real and critical part of turning around and saving lives.  If we can raise these funds over the next couple of weeks, you will give troubled youths the greatest Christmas present  they could ever want – their lives.

Peace and blessings,

Tony LoRe

Founder, Youth Mentoring Connection

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Before: Parties, Fights and Music - After: College, Connections and Music

When mentees join our mentoring program they open themselves to endless possibilities. Sometimes we must be patient for them to recognize all that is available to them.  We have an expression: “we meet our youth where they are at, not where we think they should be".  When I met Griselda, she did not care about school and was behind on her credits. At first when I would see her she would update me on her current activities, which involved life in Northeast Los Angeles: parties, fights and music. During program sessions Griselda would spend her time texting her friends.  Her mentor Nova, would physically have to take her phone away in order for her to pay attention. 

We never give up on our youth.  We keep encouraging them and offering more opportunities until the defenses go down.  So finally, Griselda made the turn and began to show up for herself and all that is available to her at YMC.  She started getting more involved with YMC’s Urban Oasis Film Academy where she was able to collaborate with other mentees from different programs and write, direct and act in several of the films.  She also enrolled in a continuation program to catch up on her credits. When I would see her, she would update me on her school and how her grades were getting better.

Griselda also started coming to our Echo sessions.  Echo is the last Friday of every month where mentees and mentors from all programs are invited to come together for deep conversation about the things that hold us back in life.  This is where she met more mentees and mentors. One mentor that she met at Echo was Julie Pilat, Program Director/Music Director at KISS FM.  Griselda has a passion for music and now wants to get into the music industry.  When she spoke to a  teacher about her dream of working in the music industry she was told "look at where you're from; you're not going to make it". This made Griselda furious.  After finding out that Julie works in the industry, Griselda took the initiative to reach out to Julie and asked her if she can job shadow her.  Julie agreed, all Griselda needed was a ride to the studio. She was able to reach out to Christilily Chiv, who was a program coordinator at YMC.

On November 20, 2012 Griselda was on her first job shadow day at KISS FM studios in Burbank,  excited about what the day had in store for her.  It started with a tour of the studio and a meeting with Julie and her team. Julie then took Griselda to "A Place Called Home" youth center, where Griselda got to meet Nick Cannon who was there to speak with the youth. Griselda had a wonderful, fun, life- changing experience during her job shadow day.

Griselda is currently catching up on her grades and is planning to return to public school in January. Her conversations with me are no longer about parties and fights but are now about  going to college and getting internships in the music industry. She wants to send a special Thank You and shout out to her mentor Nova, Julie Pilat, KIIS/FM, Christilily and Youth Mentoring Connection.

submitted by Pedro Gomez

Mentoring Does Not Suck

We know mentoring can really change a young person’s life, but Alba was becoming disenchanted with the mentoring program after two mentors in a row were unable to stick with it.

We were concerned that if the next mentor didn’t work out we might lose Alba.  Her attitude was getting worse and she said that she wanted out of the program.  She even said that the program “sucked”.
But we don’t give up so easily…and we don’t judge our youth for their attitude.  We look beneath their pain and offer unconditional support.  Besides, she had good reason to be upset.

So, we found another mentor and asked Alba to “do us a favor” and come to the first 4 sessions and if she still wants to quit after that, “we won’t bug you anymore”.  She agreed.  So I get to the session where Alba would meet her new mentor, and to my dismay, this mentor did not show up!  I was on the verge of panic.  It would be devastating to let this girl down yet again.  Now, Tony is always telling us to “Trust The Process”.  He believes that mentoring is divinely inspired.  We could use some divine intervention here...

...and it showed up - in the form of a wonderful woman named Jill.  At that same session another youth who was supposed to be matched with Jill had to drop out of the program, leaving Jill without a mentee. We took that as a sign and put Alba and Jill together, even though Jill appeared to be a very firm and assertive mentor and Alba was a little rocker girl with a bit of an attitude and some understandable resistance. 

 

No kidding, a month later, Alba called me PERSONALLY to thank us for matching her with this mentor, and expressed how much Jill contacts her, and how often they hang out, etc!  I was so excited because I noticed how Alba’s attitude was transformed, how she began calling YMC to see when the next session was, and would always thank us after each session!  Mentoring doesn’t ‘suck’ anymore!

What’s more, Alba's grades and attendance have improved, and she said her confidence and self esteem increased tremendously within this year being mentored by Jill!  I am fortunate to have witnessed this transformation and to see this girl become a better version of herself all within a year! She is such a  sweet and pleasant person to be around.  It has been a privilege to watch Alba grow!  She and Jill are still hanging out and talking, even though the program formally ended 2 months ago. This is definitely a Success Story.  Mentoring works! J

By Shonnica Croom 11/12/2012

Our Guardian Angels

At our Odyssey Mentoring Session we enjoyed a beautiful day at Kenneth Han Park. There were mentees and mentors getting to know each other, playing cards games and enjoying playing competitive sports. Towards the end of our session, there was a game of kick ball where our mentees and mentors decided to go against each other. The mentors won, however, the mentees insisted that their mentors cheated. The session ended by sharing to the group who their guardian angel was, which was a name randomly chosen by everyone from a small box. Like every session, our youth and mentors left the park with warm hearts and with a stronger bond than the previous session.