Shout ! Factory- SMC Tour

In this session the mentees and mentors had an opportunity to take a guided tour on the Santa Monica College Campus. They visited the SMC athletic department, library, dance department and the different buildings where several classes take place. This was a great opportunity for mentees to ask questions and start exploring new routes for their life.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Misty & Ashley

“Dear Misty,

I want to say thank you so much for being my mentor, I appreciate everything that that you did for me checking up pm ,e when I am feeling down about myself. You didn’t give up on me, you had faith in me not to give up on myself and I just want to thank you Mizty. Thank you for listening and understanding me on the things I’m having trouble with. Without you listening and giving me advice on which way to go, I think I would have been in a messed up world. Thank you so much for having faith in me, I hope that we keep in touch with each other.”

Much Love,

-Ashley

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Lorraine & Cynthia

"I want to thank you for being there for me through everything. There was never a day that you didn’t call to see how I was doing. You made sure we went to different and I experiences new things with you. In this program I learned that no matter what people can count on YMC and to be helpful with others and much more".

-Cynthia

WB Haiku: Jan. 18, 2011

On this Session the Mentees recieved an opportunity to work with their Mentors to create Haiku's about their lives, about some of the goals and new plans for this year. It is a perfect activity for YMC youth to open up and share their dreams. Some of our shyest youth opened up during this session with the support of their Mentors and staff.

When the song of the angels is stilled...

"When the song of the angels is stilled,

When the star in the sky is gone,

When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,

The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost,

To heal the broken,

To feed the hungry,

To release the prisoner,

To rebuild the nations,

To bring peace among others,

To make music in the heart."

Dr. Howard Thurman

Happy 2011

We return, restored and ready to do the vital work
that fills our lives with purpose. 

Please join us in healing Los Angeles and the world.

peace and blessings,

Youth Mentoring Connection

peace and blessings,

Tony

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Tiffney & America

"I would like to thank my mentor for being there for me and supporting me through the ups and the downs. I knew she cared because she listened to what I had to tell her, and she always came to the group sessions and one-on-ones. From this program I learned I have to maintain good grades. I learned that people hear me better if I am patient".

-America

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Amy & Lizzette

“Amy means a lot to me. I know that I can count on her for anything and it’s a great feeling to know that you’ll always have someone to count on.

Thank you for being my mentor because I know it’s hard to make time for me but you somehow you still do. The time we spend together is always great.

Thank you for being another amazing woman in my life! J”

–Lizzette

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Shane & Steve

"I would like to thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to hang out with me. I would also like to thank you for talking with me. I knew you cared because you always talked to me and listened to what I had to say. In this program I learned to be responsible".

-Steve

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Tarah & Yasmin

Dear Tarah,

Thank you for everything you have done and for spending your time with me when I needed a friend to hang out with. Thank you a million times I had a great time with you. You are like my big sister. My family appreciates everything and so do I. You showed me you cared when you got in contact with me, asked me how I was. From this program I learned that there are people in this world you can trust and can talk to and that actually listen.

-Yasmin

Adams II -- Meet & Greet

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Charles & Josh

"I would like to thank my mentor for taking me out to meseums which are the places I like. I also want to thank him for hanging out and having fun with me. My mentor lets me know he cares for me because he spends his hour break with me. Through this program I learned to communicate with others. For example, you never know when the person next to you in class, school, or even your neighbor can end up being your friend and share things with each other".

-Josh

Tony's Blog: We have it in our power to begin the world over again

Dear Friends,

When I woke up this morning my heart was full. There is something in the air. It smells like optimism, sounds like enthusiasm and feels like love. It comes in the form of an outpouring of support for our dream of an Urban Oasis for teens in the heart of the city.

That feeling has since given way to deep reflection as I realize that this is the day that we celebrate the life of another man who had a dream: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., visionary leader and advocate for human rights for all. Unfortunately we must also reflect upon his death in 1968 at the hands of those who felt that such a vision could be silenced. It cannot. His life was ended, but his voice lives on.

I call upon the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for guidance in our quest for cultural renewal. I call on his legacy to fuel our courage to check the ignorance of racism, born from hatred which in turn is born from fear. We need the memory of MLK to incite the promise of Obama that is threatened by incivility and the disingenuousness of political discourse. A political solution without a cultural shift will be short-lived. The very work that we do at Youth Mentoring Connection is aimed directly at such a shift. Our best hope is in understanding our interconnectedness, revisiting old wisdom, understanding new ways of connecting (social networking, media outreach, etc.) and practicing compassion toward our youth and their communities. We’ll have to use all these tools and our greatest levels of creativity.

Yet, as our name implies, it comes down to developing a culture of mentoring. It comes down to our ability to proliferate the number of adults who will approach our youth in the spirit of “Sawubona” (Zulu for “I see you”), to recognize the “gifts” they were each born into this world to share. Indeed to recognize that the most wounded of them carry deep medicine that we all need, and by helping them heal we learn to heal the entire culture.

Mentoring as practiced at YMC is a community endeavor rooted in the imagination of old wisdom. The word comes from Homer’s Odyssey and involves the healing of a culture wracked by war. “Mentor” becomes guide for the young prince Telemachus and inspires him to find his voice and go on the necessary journey into adulthood. The ultimate conclusion is that the gifts of the youth mingle with that of the elder, thus driving out the forces of fear. I believe that is our battle today. If we defeat fear, we can face ourselves, face our individual and collective wounds, and build the compassionate society that has always been the promise of America.

Thomas Paine wrote, “We have it in our power to begin the world over again.”

What an amazing thing, this human capacity to reinvent ourselves; to start anew. Let’s use the symbolism of a new year and the inspiration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to inspire us to move our society to where all peoples can finally say:

"Free at last, free at last.
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

yours in peace,

Tony

A Mentor's Story

I remember first meeting Tony LoRe at the beach for the surfing program Boarding House Mentors about 4 years ago. A friend had been volunteering that summer and asked if I wanted to come and check it out. I remember attending a mentoring session as a guest, and I remember meeting my mentee Imelda when the new mentoring session started. Imelda was the first girl I had spoken to during the meet and greet bowling session. I remember being nervous about the match-up. Was I going to be a good mentor? How was I going to be a good mentor? Would she respond to me? Would we have anything in common? Would I make a difference in this person’s life? Good grief, could I do this? No pressure.

I remember during one of our one-on-one sessions, Imelda asked me why I became a mentor. I told Imelda that I was looking to volunteer somewhere as I was at a point in my life that I wanted to give back. I told Imelda, as an Asian Immigrant in the bible belt of Tennessee, I had a hard time growing up as a non-Caucasian girl in the South. I didn’t have elders or mentors – I wanted to give what I didn’t have (but I wanted and needed) growing up. I remembered the words from the training session – “Be honest, be open, be yourself – they can smell the BS.”

Was I going to be a good mentor? I didn’t know, but I kept showing up for the mentoring sessions twice a month and I “played full out”. That was all that YMC had asked of me.

How was I going to be a good mentor? With the support of Tony and Juliana (with Sarah, Leslie, Derrion and Stewart), I was able to watch and learn during the group sessions once a month as they taught the kids (and the mentors) to take risks, take chances to trust, to let people in, to get out of your comfort zone, to play full out, be present and be open.

Would she respond to me? I remember doing an exercise in one of our group sessions, and Imelda shared that she trusted no one. Imelda was a friendly and gregarious personality, but she trusted no one. No one had trusted her – especially her mother. I remember the summer after our first year together, we were at the beach for the surfing program. Imelda got off the bus, walked over to me and confided in me that she took my advice. She had finally and nervously had a conversation with her mother about their relationship. Ime told me that they were really able to talk to each other for the first time. In between her tears, Ime told me, “She said that she was really worried about me. She told me she really loved me.” My heart was so happy for her.

Would we have anything in common? As the oldest daughter of an immigrant family, having most of the household responsibilities, reading/translating English for your parents, taking care of the siblings, having an overprotective mother who didn’t want you to make the same mistakes as she did, and struggling financially. Is this me or Ime? TTP – “Trust the Process!”

Would I make a difference in this person’s life? During the last Big Bear Girls’ Initiation retreat in October, Ime shocked me. Ime has the most infectious smile and she is a personality, but she has always struggled to express her thoughts and feelings. But one night during the Street Poets led activity, Ime wrote a poem and read it sharing it with all of us.

The Light

I found a Light when I needed it the most.

I found a Light that has understood me from the start.

I found a Light that told me things will turn out right.

I found a Light that helped me find my light.

My light is now strong and bright.

My light was found with the help of the Light.

The Light that loves me,

And I have learned to love mine.

Juliana kept looking at me as Ime read the poem, and half way through it I started bawling when I realized that she had written it about me. I was floored. I was amazed. I was humbled. She found her light. She learned to love her own light. For Pete’s sake, she called me the Light! I’m crying again…

In the YMC Mentor Training Manual there’s a quote by Keith Geiger: “The most crucial role for a mentor is to be an adult who has time for a young person, who cares about that young person, and who believes in that young person. This relationship may provide the ONLY stability a student knows, and the only time anyone spends quality time with the mentee.”

Sometimes there’s so much crap in front of us (in our lives), it’s hard to see anything else. And maybe, all I really can do or am supposed to do (while I have the chance) is raise the mirror in front of her face and flicker on the light so that she can also see what I see in her.

Ime hears gunshots at night. Her younger brother is not allowed to walk around the neighborhood by himself because of gang violence. Ime works to help support her family. She has struggled and gone through depression. But Ime’s also the first in her family to graduate from high school. Ime is caring, compassionate, loving and kind. She just got her driver’s permit (yikes!) and she’s optimistically thinking about college and trying to figure out what she wants for her future. Ime is a beautiful human being, I love her and I am very grateful to have her in my life.

I remember one Initiation Retreat two years ago – it was a week after my mom had passed away from breast cancer. I had committed to be a mentor for the retreat…and I went. I remember the first night as the girls started getting off the bus, the first thing I heard was Ime’s voice, “Where’s Danni?” I felt her voice chipping away at the numbness in my heart. I showed up and the girls and the staff showed up for me. My heart was breaking, I was confused and I was calm all at the same time.

One night during the retreat, sixteen year old Dineisha who had lost both of her parents came up to me and said, “Maybe your mom wasn’t able to take care of you the way she wanted to, but now she can.” The wisdom and resilience of these youth – who have grown up with violence, born to drug addicted mothers and absent fathers, who have been neglected, abused, ignored and forgotten by their community and the government – astounds me. The growth and transformation I’ve been privileged to witness in these beautiful young men and women – humbles me. The unconditional love, support and dedication of the YMC staff – inspires me.

I have learned that when I show up for these kids trying to reflect back to them what I see in them – their gifts, their talents, their potential, I have found that people show up for me in my life and reflect back to me what they see in me – my gifts, my talents and my potential.

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself...Serve and thou shalt be served.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The focus of this program will be on the one to one relationship between mentor and mentee, with emphasis on developing happy, healthy lives, trust, self confidence, empowerment and a vision for the future.” Change 2 lives, become a mentor – indeed.

I love your guts YMC!

Sawubona (I see you),

Danni aka La Lupe

Giving Back in 2010

Did you make a New Years Resolution to do more good in 2010?  The secret to success is to dive in.  Fully commit and notice all the things that come your way to support your decision.   

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.  Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:  that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do,

or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, 

power and magic in it. " 

Goethe

If you are not sure yet what to do in 2010 to make a bigger difference, consider becoming a mentor.  Click here to mentor with Youth Mentoring Connection (volunteer button on the left)

If you are already mentoring, get a friend to volunteer to do the same.  They'll thank you for it down the road.