Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Linzi & Evelyn

"I would like my mentor to know that I am thankful for all the places she has taken me and for being someone I could talk to about anything. She used to e-mail me to see how I was doing and plan our next one on one. I learned to be open and to try new things in life. I think this is important because it helps me prepared for everything that comes in life".

-Evelyn

Friday's Follow-Up

"Justice is truth in action." Benjamin Disraeli

Show me your papers! Will my diploma suffice ?!
Tony writes about pressuring the government into making changes in our immigration laws. Why can't young people of "good moral character" who have graduated from a US high school have the opportunity to earn permanent resident status? As Tony says: "So please, take a stand. Sign petitions. Raise awareness. Let your voice be heard." Amen to that!!!!

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Sue & Viviane
Viviane thanks her mentor Sue. She is grateful that Sue cared for her by understanding her problems and taking her to places Viviane wanted to go.

Check out this great website!!! http://www.vimeo.com/11714699 -- you rock Lamar!

Have a great weekend!
La Judy

HBO- Defend Your Life

During this mentoring at HBO, the matches played a game where each individual must "defend their life." They must make a case for themselves as to why they deserve to live and what they have done to earn such reward. The matches were broken up into 2 big groups and only 2 mentors and 2 mentees can survive.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Sue & Viviane

"I would like to thank my mentor for letting me have a great time and letting me experience new feelings. SUE, YOU’RE THE BEST!!! The one thing that Sue did to let me know that she cared for me was understanding my problems and taking me to places I wanted to go. This experience helped me build up friendship and trust with other people that I barely met".

-Viviane

Show me your papers! Will my diploma suffice?!

Maria sheds tears of the soul, usually when she speaks of all the people who have been there for her along her difficult journey. She makes you cry too when she tells her story. Bright and inspirational, straight A student, ready to go to college to get a degree that she won’t be able to use in this country because her parents brought her over here at two years old. Her younger brother will have the benefits of citizenship because he was born here. But just like him this is the only place that she has ever called home.

Juan is a brilliant young man, academically and artistically. Worldly wise at a young age, breezing through high school, he taught himself five languages and tutored fellow students in various subjects. He's one of those people who can speak softly and still project the power and authority of someone who knows himself. Shunning college he now works as a tattoo artist for cash because he can’t get a social security number. When he breaks down and shares his story (which is rare) the pain is almost unbearable. Yet, he perseveres and is the kind of person that everyone loves to be around. Brought across the border as an infant, he has never known any other place as home.

Due to their undocumented status, these young people live cautiously, in the shadows of society. With spirits so bright and powerful they should stand out like a candle in the dark, yet they walk like stealth Jedi-knights through this culture that is consumed with fear. They are the ones that are at high risk of rejection and exploitation, living with no societal protection. Yet this society seems to fear them. Arizona certainly fears them.

In her blog of April 22 - I Love Us, Juliana shares that when youth act out we see it as an opportunity.
“… we can’t do anything about it until it shows up ..."
She was talking about when youth act out, but what about when an entire state acts out as in the recent immigration bill that sent the state of Arizona further in the direction of fascism. It showed up! So, let’s look at it as an opportunity – at least a wake up call.

Those who are upset about what happened in Arizona can complain about it and then get back to watching American Idol, or we can use it to motivate action. When AZ Governor Brewer signed the bill she gave us a clue about how we can do this. She stated that they had tired of waiting for the Federal government to do something. So, let’s respond by pressuring the government to do something. Of course the something that I would like to start with is probably not what the good Governor had in mind.

Let’s start with the “DREAM Act” that has been floating around congress for years with little political will to push for enactment. The Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors act would provide undocumented students who graduate from US high schools the opportunity to earn permanent resident status. This is essentially for young people who were brought into this country at a young age by their parents. If they were able to overcome all the obstacles in front of them, graduate high school, go on to college and demonstrate “good moral character” (no trouble with the law) they may qualify. This should be an easy one as we are only talking about people who stand a great chance of significantly contributing to society. Further, this is really the only place that they have ever called “home”. So, why shouldn’t they be able to fully participate in this society?

If we can’t get this one through, then what hope do we have for a compassionate larger policy?  For a moment let’s forget about those here illegally. Legal citizens of the United States of America cannot walk free in their own state. Legal citizens of the state of Arizona can be stopped and hassled at any time. What if they forget to bring their “papers” out of the house with them? I wonder if the folks that think the Arizona law is reasonable have any idea of what it’s like to be considered a second-class citizen. In case you think that this policy may not get fully enforced because the governor assured us that there will not be racial profiling, know this: the law provides that government entities can be sued for not aggressively prosecuting this law.

So please, take a stand. Sign petitions. Raise awareness. Let your voice be heard.

"He who passively accepts evil is as much

involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it."

-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sincerely,

Tony
Tony LoRe
Founder/CEO
Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis
Founder
Boarding House Mentors

Friday's Follow-Up

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." Thomas Jefferson

Tony's Blog: Sticks and Stones are Easy
Tony writes about the YMC program ECHO, where adults and youths engage in honest conversation about all kinds of topics; a place that is a forum for young men and women to feel safe to express themselves without feeling judged. In the last Echo boys session, the use of certain words that denigrate women was discussed. As the adult men shared their experiences to the young men, true mentoring arose spontaneously.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Becky & Nayeli
Nayeli thanks her mentor, Becky, for listening to her during the difficult times.

I think it will be a warm weekend...stay cool everyone!
La Judy

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Becky & Nayeli

I want to thank my mentor for all the attention she gave me. I thank her for the support and for listening to me during difficult situations. I know she cares for me because she listens to me and she gives me advise. I know she cared for me when we went skateboarding together for the first time. I have learned that I can open up to people without being judged. I have also learned someone cares about my life and I don’t necessarily need to hide or put a shield in front of me.

-Nayeli

Tony's Blog: Sticks and Stones are Easy

“We can call each other “nigga”, but a white guy can’t. So why do we call women “bitches”…
…just because we hear them call each other that?”
 This was Jamal’s epiphany…It was a question that I had written in my notes in preparation for our monthly ECHO session; our straight talk-no holds barred-tell the truth with whatever language you need to express yourself-gender specific-deep discussion group.

This night, for the first time since we started ECHO three years ago, I had come with an agenda. Although our last few sessions had been powerful, I felt we were starting to lose some respect for the process. Some of the guys were showing up late and treating our gatherings almost like “kick backs”. So, I started the meeting with my concerns. This led to a very honest conversation about all kinds of topics related to how we respect each other as men and how we honor the process that we have all come to look forward to - this process we call ECHO. I was impressed by both the honesty and openness in the room. We have created our own little culture that fosters that.

On my list of things to discuss was my discomfort with the reference to women as “bitches”. Difficult territory to venture into, as in this venue we don’t preach and that’s a hot button topic that makes me want to preach. We are here to provide a forum for young men to feel safe to express themselves without feeling judged. So, I had planned to bring it up, not as the leader of the group, but just as another guy in the room sharing his feelings and hoping for an “agreement” rather than imposing a “rule”. However the previous items I had brought up took so long to work through that I decided it would have to wait for next time. Well, sometimes the powers of the other world just intervene and I just gotta sit back and say “damn”. As I opened the floor for anyone to speak one of the young men talked about his relationship with his girlfriend. One thing led to another and we were in the discussion about women and the b-word was flyin’ around the room. Then Jamal spoke up and shared his on the spot epiphany, speaking as if he had lifted the words from the pages of my notes. Then another young man, sounding forlorn, spoke up to talk about how just barely out of his teens he no longer enjoys, nor sees the point of sex. Another muttered, “I thought I was the only one”. They were transitioning to the need for more purpose and real passion with women. They were looking for mentoring. Then something beautiful occurred. The older men showed up as “elders” in a way that I dream of. They didn’t preach or judge. They related…and spontaneous mentoring began to occur as they told their stories of healing through their primary relationships with women. Their words, tone and presentation demonstrated a love and respect for the women of their lives, and a delight in their own journey of self-discovery through relationship…

…and the young men listened.

The typical male chest thumping was interrupted by a bit of sweet wisdom. In this hyper masculine culture that our boys come from, one hears daily about icons of sport, celebrity and political leadership acting in disrespect to the commitments of their marriages and relationships. Where are the role models for our young men to show them something better, more meaningful and fulfilling?  Friday night they were in the room with me. Men told of how learning to honor one’s self as a man becomes the key to learning to honor women and all that they mean to our lives. It is our inner-relationship that we must heal first. Paradoxically, healing our inner-relationship is often informed by the lessons of our external relationships with women.

I feel we made some serious progress that night. The b word will still be used, but I think with less frequency. More importantly, talk of love competed successfully with talk of conquest. Seeds were planted and epiphanies were discovered. We ventured into the conversation that men can only have with other men and only if trust is present. It is in this forum, this kind of honest give and take between generations that we will rediscover a path to cultural healing.

Sincerely,

Tony

Tony LoRe
Founder/CEO
Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis

Founder
Boarding House Mentors