HBO's 2013 - 2014 Meet & Greet

Showing up to HBO with new mentees last week was nothing less than fun! Ooh's, Aah's and occasional Wow's filled the elevator... Mentees couldn't fathom that they could potentially walk past actors, producers, or musicians let alone met some cool HBO employees. Their excitement was through the roof even before they had a chance to set foot in the community room so I knew it was going to be a good day!

Poetry With Street Poets

What better way to begin a wonderful spring session with some warm words from our friends at Street Poets? Together mentees and mentors were able to shed some light onto their wounds by writing and reciting some good ole poetry at HBO!

Looking back moving forward mentors and mentees were able to plan for their futures together... Knowing that we (mentor & mentee) both have hurt and helped others, we make the conscious decision to wash away our sins and wash in our blessings together!

HBO- Film Project

HBO mentors and mentees were divided into 3 teams for a film project. The teams had assistance from Edgar (who is a film maker) and some of his friends. These are the following titles of the films: Teen Pregnancy, Choices we make, and What’s behind the Mask?. The screening is scheduled to take place on June 2^nd at the Year-end celebration.

HBO- Holiday Party

In honor of the holidays we decided to have some fun by playing the White Elephant game at the HBO holiday party. The mentees had a chance to spend quality time with their mentors and open really cool gifts. The game got really exciting because they got to "steal" a couple of the gifts from each other, this of course following the rules of the game.

HBO Thanksgiving - Toast & Turkey

In honor of the holidays, the mentees and mentors at HBO had a chance to share with each other what their ideal thanksgiving dinner would look like and what guests they would invite. They also had a chance to give a toast to those special people in their lives.

HBO Meet & Greet

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Karen & Verena

"I want to thank Karen for always having my back and helping me through all my drama. I also want to thank her for being that positive role model I needed in my life and for helping me stay on the right track. Also, thanks for just loving me and showing me you cared".

-Verena

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Bert & Juan

"I want to thank you for being an awesome guy and giving me all your attention. You were a very open person. You shared with me some of the struggles you have with your sons and I appreciate that. I knew you cared because you always told me the right things to do".

-Juan

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Leo & Ronnie

"I want to thank my mentor for teaching me that I could succeed in life by focusing on my goals. He showed me what I have to do in order to reach my goals. I knew he cared about me because he listened to my problems and helped me find an answer to the things that I am going through. In this program I learned that every one has different ways to achieve there goals and that every one is talented in their own ways".

-Ronnie

HBO Introductions 11.11.10

HBO Matching 10.28.10

In this session the mentors and mentees found out who they will be match with for the rest of the year. Each mentor and mentee was given a phrase that they had to match by going around and asking if they had the other half of the phrase. In this session the matches also had a chance to get to know each other better by interviewing one another.

HBO Meet & Greet Session 10.07.10

In this session the mentors and mentees at HBO got a chance to meet each other for the first time. The session was composed of a series of icebreakers to engage the new mentees and mentors in the program.This session was the start of a new 9 month program.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Gina & Aleida

"There is not enough words to describe the impact you have brought into my life. There isn’t a category to label your indescribable friendship! You fit into all categories! You have become more than family, not only to me but to all my tribe as well. You are more than a best friend, bigger than a sister. Our relationship has gotten stronger, only thanks to the trust we have for one another. We are together as one! No more solos!"

-Aleida

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Joanna & Markeshia

"One thing I would thank Joanna for is for being patient with me whenever I didn’t show up. I would also like to thank her for her personality. She always made me laugh and I love her for that. She was sweet and generous and I just hope that we could have spent more time together.
One thing that Joanna did that made me feel like she cared for me was when she talked to me when I was going through problems with my mother. She made me feel better at the end of the day. She was sincere and gentle with me. The thing that I learned in the program that I can take with me is having the ability to be as successful as I can in life".

-Markeshia

Maybe fighting IS the answer

Edgar is kicked out of school for constant fighting. So, he sits in my office and tells me how his mentor has helped him see himself differently and he doesn’t start as many fights as he used to (progress, not perfection)

   ”but they come at me, and I have to defend myself”. 

   “Who comes at you?” I ask. 

   “My enemies. I’m in a crew (gang). “Yeah, it’s hard to get out. We protect each other and they all know I can fight.”

   “How’s that working for you?”

   “I try to stop fighting because I’m getting in too much trouble and I want to graduate…and it’s hurting my mom. But the fight keeps coming to me.”

He’s a very smart young man. So, I throw a metaphor at him. There’s an old legend about Ghandi confronting a Cobra on his epic salt march. He was sitting amongst his followers when a cobra slithered into their midst. Everyone scrambled to avoid this creature with the lethal venom, but Ghandi simply sat there in the lotus position as the snake crawled across his legs and then exited the clearing. When the people asked him why he wasn’t afraid of the cobra’s bite, Ghandi replied that “I simply gave him nothing to fight against”.

   He gets it. “Because I walk around with fighting inside of me, fights find me.”

"Yeah", I say “you’re a fight magnet”.

   We talk awhile longer. He knows that something has to change. So, I try our 5 question process:

“So, what are you doing that brings these fights to you?”

   His answer ranges from his involvement in the crew to old rivalries and his reputation as a fighter.

“When does it usually happen?”

   We talk about time and place and triggers to fighting.

“What negative shit happens because of all this fighting?”

   He talks about getting kicked out of school, his mom and dad, fear about his future prospects. Interestingly, he never mentions the cuts, black eyes, swollen fists, etc.

“What benefit do you get out of it?”

   “I love to fight!”

This statement will be the key to our solution. He loves the challenge. He loves the physical exhilaration. He feels alive.

“What could you do to get all of those benefits without the negative stuff like getting kicked out of school and upsetting your mom?”

He explores his options; discusses joining the marines (I resist lecturing or interrupting and just let him work through it); football (but they don’t have a team in the only school we can get him into now); and boxing. Boxing, that’s it.

We make an agreement. Edgar promises not to instigate any fights and if a fight comes to him he will try to walk away two times before he defends himself by fighting back (progress, not perfection). In return I’ll get him into a boxing program.

So, I call Shelly, an ex-employee of YMC who has connections to a boxing gym in South Central LA. She has seen what a great outlet boxing can be for young men from the hood and agrees to make the introduction. We meet Edgar at the gym, and the old gentleman who will be his trainer greets him and tells him “I look at you walk in here and I can tell you are a fight magnet…” Edgar looks at me and smiles. We’re all on the same page.

I see how respectfully Edgar listens to the seasoned trainer. I see him soak up the energy of the gym. He’s at home here. And he can’t wait to get started.

Later that night I get a text from his mom, thanking me, Hoolie and all of the people at YMC with phrases that I don’t have to translate even though I don’t speak Spanish:

   “Muchas, muchas gracias”

   “Corazon gracias”

   “Y a todos su personal”

The following night I get the text from Edgar that will make Hoolie cry:

   “Hey man…I just wanted 2 know if u were gonna show up at the gym 2morow and let u know that I’m no longer 4rm the crew…I’m out.”

He asks me for his mentors number (he lost his phone and thus her number) so that he can text her too.

I love my life,

Tony

Founder/CEO
Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis

Founder
Boarding House Mentors

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Kate & Claudia

"Hey there Kate, I am extremely happy that I was paired with such a wonderful mentor like you. Although, we weren’t able to attend most of the sessions because we are such busy women I had a lot of fun. I’m very grateful for the extra time you put into our mentor and mentee relationship, it really meant a lot to me. We got along very well from the beginning and from then I knew I could not have been paired with a better mentor. Thank you for putting up with my talking and laughing, I can never really “shut up” LOL. Well, I really want to keep in touch with you as well. I am confident so I refuse to say, “Goodbye”.

Always, Claudia

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Carrie & Brizaneny

"Carrie, you are a phenomenal mentor. I have learned so much about you and I was able to express myself with you. You always made a way to make me feel comfortable around you. I am glad we made commitments and agreements with each other. You have a fantastic personality and I will always you were there for me when I needed someone. You are a great person and thanks for caring about my future".

-Brizaneny

HBO- Defend Your Life

During this mentoring at HBO, the matches played a game where each individual must "defend their life." They must make a case for themselves as to why they deserve to live and what they have done to earn such reward. The matches were broken up into 2 big groups and only 2 mentors and 2 mentees can survive.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee- Tina & Noe

"Tina, well I have to say that you mean a lot to me. We use to talk about all of our problems that we have gone through in our life. I believe that having an older person to talk to about your problems helps you out a lot. You are friendly and if I return to mentoring next year I would choose you again. If I don’t come back next year I would like to be in communication with you. You’re like a mother I never had!"

-Noe