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Mentees from our Viacom mentoring program invited their families to "meet the mentor!" This small event we like to call "Family Night". Which was held at Jefferson High School located in South Central. Our wonderful Gonzalez Catering company provided delicious tacos for everyone to munch on. I believe most people will agree that it's exciting to have gatherings especially when there's family, fun, and of course food!

Holiday fun @ Warner Bros.

Mentees and Mentors gathered at WB studios for a fun activity we call
"White Elephant Gift exchange".  We began with a toast (from our fearless leader Tony LoRe)  to" cheating, lying, and stealing"! .If you have to cheat - cheat death, lie to protect a friend, and if your going to steal - steal someone's heart. This was the last time we would come together as a community at WB in 2012 and what a great way to end! Happy Holidays :)

Inspire: “to breath one’s spirit into the world”

I showed up to the beach uninspired. My co-leader on the beach was not feeling it either. She asked me for help and that little act of connection woke up the purpose inside of me…service to others. By allowing me to help she woke up my inspiration and thus inspired me to offer my gifts to those gathered around us. The word inspire comes from the latin “inspirare” meaning “to breath into”, and it also holds the root of spirit. So,

Inspire: “to breath one’s spirit into the world”.

It occurred to me how much of the time I do feel inspired, and in turn I realized how much of my life is surrounded by sources of inspiration. So, my privilege to set the inspiraton of the day for the 120 people on the beach came from those very people. Eventually that led to a discussion about the people we surround ourselves with. Do they inspire us? Do they breathe life into our spirit by encouraging the expression of our higher self?
One of the most effective ways to influence change in one’s self is to change the crowd one hangs out with. Yesterday on the beach we had a crowd of 120 who got together to inspire the highest, noblest part of our youth and each other…and it’s always fun.
Rumi said:

Be with those who help your being.

Don't sit with indifferent people, whose breath

comes cold out of their mouths.

Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.

A chunk of dirt thrown in the air breaks to pieces.

If you don't try to fly,

and so break yourself apart,

you will be broken open by death,

when it's too late for all you could become.

Leaves get yellow. The tree puts out fresh roots

and makes them green.

Why are you so content with a love that turns you yellow?

Yours in spirit,

Tony

Tony LoRe

CEO/Founder, Youth Mentoring Connection/Urban Oasis

Founder, Boarding House Mentors

It's time for our annual campaign drive! Partner with us to mentor our youth from the threats of gang violence, drugs, and dropping out of school. Everyone who donates will be entered to win two tickets to our benefit concert with Jackson Browne in October.

YOUR DONATION WILL CHANGE LIVES! Donate here: Youth Mentoring Connection Annual Campaign

Tony's Blog: Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.

Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.

To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.

The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.

The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.

Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not?

Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here.

~author unknown


Observation:
After people have been oppressed long enough, they begin to oppress themselves.

Question:
What responsibility do the rest of us have?
…or should we just continue to blame them.

Final observation:
Blaming ourselves for what we inherited doesn't help, but continuing to participate in it is not the answer either.

Respectfully,

Tony LoRe
Founder/CEO
Youth Mentoring Connection

Tony's Blog: Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that

I have been mourning the lack of civil discourse lately and thinking about how our political process risks turning us into a nation of verbally violent people. People sitting at traditional seats of power at our highest levels of government sew hatred in order to incite the masses so that a political party can win some kind of advantage. They use fear to turn the gullible masses into tea bagger crowds demonizing and labeling their rivals.

Young people learn about power from adults. So, how can we sit in judgment of them as they form gangs and toss epithets at their rivals. Power without conscience is their cultural heritage if they look to the greater culture. So they take it to extremes. Their other alternative is to reject it altogether and check out in hundreds of different ways (apathy, cutting, mind-numbing drugs, alcohol, etc.).

Griselda, our beautiful young intern at YMC, attended a "Non-Violence Training" over the weekend and came back to tell me of people fighting for the same cause but fighting with each other in the process. "They were disagreeing on so many levels with such animosity towards each other that the whole thing turned me off." She described heated arguments over non-violent tactics ranging from total passivity to militantly taking it to the streets. She was looking for a different kind of imagination. There is a Buddhist concept of non-violent language which states that any language that divides us is violent.

Dr. Martin Luther King said: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

What if adults were to exercise power with love and respect, honoring even those that disagree with us? I happen to like (peaceful) protests, but I have learned that what we need more is mentoring. Where are the elders who will cultivate a different kind of wisdom in our lives and offer it as an alternative example for the youth? I know that I have the privilege of working with many of them, hundreds of mentors, as well as our amazing staff at Youth Mentoring Connection. They number thousands of adults who have come into the lives of young people to try to create a different reality--one where respect and consideration replace judgment and blame.

yours in peace,

Tony

Tony's Blog: How a white man goes into the hood

Recently, a corporate executive asked me how a white man goes into the hood. My answer was that most of the time he drives east and then south.

No, seriously he said: How do you learn to speak their language?

I try to meet them at a place that is beyond language. Connect to their hearts.
If I try to talk like them I’m being inauthentic and they pick that up and that becomes what is communicated.

If I try to talk like an adult to a child, they turn off. So, we have to discover a common language together: A language of the heart, or perhaps the soul. The language they are used to from adults is the language of judgment. “This is what is wrong with the way you are living your life. Let me tell you the right way”.

"Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing

and rightdoing, there is a field

I'll meet you there."

Rumi

The other thing they get is the eight words: “If you do this, you will get that.” Trust me, these kids know about accountability. They are hammered over the head with it every day. They just don’t see the point. What young people want is to be seen, to be valued. It is more important to the human spirit than the knowledge of reward and punishment. This is especially true during the years that they are trying to form their identity in the world. Youth in the city get messages everyday that they translate to mean, “you have no place in this world…you don’t belong here.”

So, I try to bring them a different language. One that is more imaginative, thoughtful and resourceful. One that is not based on “put downs” which is the most common language of youth today, but one that is based on connection and recognition. That is the spirit of “sawubona” (Zulu for “I see you”).

Finally, I try to see them as bearers of great gifts, not as receptacles for my wisdom. This is perhaps the key to their respect and to my humility which makes us both approachable.

This is my approach to ‘inner city youth’, but come to think of it:

Isn’t this what we should all be doing for each other?

respectfully,

Tony

Political outcomes

One of the many problems that we face in the light of the last few days is to figure out what the implications of the many props are. The LA Times looks at what the implications of one of the Props was on transport and some of the new challenges it provides for the people of South LA.