Give Youth A Chance "5 Saves Lives"

Today YMC launches its exciting new Campaign "5 Saves Lives" where for just $5 you could bring a Mentor into a young person's life. Visit our new page over at Causecast to find out more details about how you can take action and donate

Tony's Blog: Stimulate This!

Every day I go to the Office of Justice Programs website that announces the Recovery Act Youth Mentoring grant awards with an irrational hope that Youth Mentoring Connection will show up on the list of grantees. It took days for the banking industry to get their 800 billion dollars, but the 4 million that will be shared amongst 25 youth agencies from across the country will be delayed for months. For the past several weeks there have been 24 names on the list. Bureaucracy has an unending capacity to frustrate.

Just a fraction of one of the bonuses that the banks gave out to their execs with that stimulus money could fund our entire organization for a year. We live in a Plutonomy (from 'pluto' or wealth and 'economy' - an economic system that benefits the wealthy) where the top 1% control over 50% of the net worth in America. Corporate CEO's now make in one day what their avg. worker makes in an entire year, while families in our neighborhoods don't even create a blip on the radar screen of income. African-American and Latino families in the communities we serve are bearing the brunt of the economic crisis. Where's their recovery act? Our teens are competing with each others' parents for the jobs that they used to get to help their own parents keep a household together. The middle class is disappearing, parents are moving in with their adult kids, and kids are staying in their parents' home longer than ever.

Non-profits are closing, furloughing, laying off, cutting back in record numbers, but we refuse to give up, or cut services to even one youth.

Well, I guess we have to come up with some new ideas. As Hoolie often says: "We can do this!"

So, where do I get my stimulus?

...Certainly not from anything having to do with the economy. What stimulates me is:

Seeing my house packed with 25 loving and giving souls who gave up yet another Saturday to prepare to mentor our youth at our upcoming mountain retreat. We go around the room while each man shares the struggles that have shaped them into the kind of person that can sit with a deeply wounded child and demonstrate the most authentic level of listening that the young person can experience.

Michael humbly says that he's not sure how he can contribute to the retreat and then proceeds to crack the room open and create a dialogue that shows all the other men how to engage in the deep conversation that will end up saving a kid's life.

Andres demonstrates how a man can show strength and tears at the same time.

Jamie and Monk offer their unconditional support to the other men while continuing to expand the limits of their ability to love and give.

I walk into the space where the women are planning and Becky, who is dealing with her own problems, looks up and smiles as if to say, "We all heal each other".

Hoolie is the picture of authenticity as she leads the women in discussion, then welcomes the men. She has stepped into a role in this work finally befitting the size of her enormous heart and spirit.

Afterwards Chris, Allison and I sit and talk about how Youth Mentoring Connection and Street Poets (our closest partner in this cause) can collaborate and support each other while we move to bring a different imagination of how our culture supports its youth and heals itself. While we talk, my beautiful partner Susan deftly handles the last guests and puts the house back in order (even though she said she wouldn't be able to help because she had to prepare a high level presentation for Monday).

Later I receive an e-mail from our consummate mentor Danni, thanking me for introducing her to such wonderful people and wonderful work, while everyone else is consistently thanking me for introducing them to her.

On Sunday I surf with Mark, our newest board member and brilliant film maker whose generosity of spirit seems to know no bounds; receive an encouraging phone message from my sister Linda who has injected more stimulus into YMC than she wants anyone to know about; take a call from Wil who is offering to donate the talismans that each youth will take from their retreat experience; then another call from Heather saying that she is arranging to have a foundation donate hundreds of books to our youth.

Next, I make my way to see Jose, who has been fighting for his life, all his life. He has made significant progress lately and wants me to moderate a discussion between him and his girlfriend.
"You're like a father to me," he says. I am humbled because no father would ever allow his son to go through the things that I've seen this young warrior go through. I do what I can, but in reality I do very little for him. He just has no baseline for comparison. His father has been in prison his entire life.

Finally, this morning I pick up Sarah on my way into the office (her car is under repair) and we load all the food she made for our entire staff. YMC used to provide lunch for staff every Monday as a way of thanking them for their tireless effort at low pay. We can no longer afford to do that. So, now instead, we take turns cooking for each other. I love these people. Each Monday a different staff member brings lunch for the entire crew.

So today, I will once again find my stimulus in the privilege of working alongside the most amazing group of self-sacrificing human beings I could ever dream of sharing this path with, while we prepare for a week filled with the honor of guiding hundreds of caring adult volunteers in an effort that gives hope to hundreds of wounded but resilient and gifted young people.

That's my stimulus package. It won't pay the rent or buy a meal, but my heart and soul will be full.
Tony LoRe

Friday's Follow Up

"Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are". Bertolt Brecht

Tony's Blog: Transformation is a Transferable Skill
Tony tells of the amazing growth of Giovanni, a wise soul in the body of a young man.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Laura & Mariela
Mariela shares that she is learning to trust more. She knows if she trusts more, she will have a happier life and more friends.

In it together
Sarah shares about how grateful she is that YMC has provided her the opportunity to work with amazing youth. These young people have grown before her very eyes and, in return, have helped her to grow.

Something very exciting is going to be happening soon....stay tuned!!!!
La Judy

In it together

Thanks to Hoolie for giving me the opportunity to guest blog on Wednesday's Word on the Street.

Tonight we had the incredible privilege of holding a training for the mentees who will be joining us as Youth Leaders on our upcoming Mentee Initiation Retreat. I don't call this a "privilege" lightly - believe me, I knew we were going to work till 9 pm tonight, and I was fully expecting to be stressed, exhausted, and maybe just a tad resentful by the end of the long day. Instead, I am filled to the brim with gratitude: today has been a privilege indeed.

Our Youth Leaders are young men and women who have been with us for several years. I have known some of them since they were hard little 14-year-olds hiding behind long bangs or under a hoodie, and now they are 17 and 18 and coming into their own. What we witnessed tonight was our Youth Leaders responding to two questions: "What gift are you bringing? And what do you yourself need to work on up on the mountain?" And it seemed like 3 or 4 years of growth was captured, like a time-lapse, in these 2 hours.

One young woman, whose quick temper had kept her from leadership in the past, shared that every year on the retreat she had been able to change something - but this year she was finally ready to work on her responses, her listening, her anger. Another high-achieving, hyper-responsible mentee shared that she wants to learn how to say "no," how to take care of herself. A third young woman had, for years, shut down so fiercely when she was uncomfortable that there was nothing we on staff could do but take turns talking to her, usually to no effect. Believe me, we're good at what we do - but with her, we were scratching at stone with our fingernails. Well, do you know what came out of this little girl's mouth tonight? "What I need to work on is being ok with having feelings." My heart just about burst out of my chest.

Here's the thing. Our youth are mirrors for us. As I watched them stepping up into their own potential as young adults, naming their own hard places, I wasn't just proud - I also recognized a lot of myself in there. When one of our Youth Leaders shared tonight, "I feel so comfortable helping other people with their problems, trying to fix others, but I have a really hard time looking at myself," one of my coworkers quipped, "Have you considered a career in a youth-serving nonprofit?" She played it off as a joke, but those of us on staff exchanged glances. We know the truth in her quick response.

We know that doing what we do, it's tempting to hide our own difficulties behind the constant crisis and drama of young lives - but doing that, we can't truly do this work. When we're truly in it, we are growing and stumbling right there with our kids. I am reminded of a mentor who realized 6 months into his commitment that even though he was responsible, successful, and had a family, he needed to change the ways he was using alcohol in his life. His inspiration for this was his mentee - "I couldn't be a role model for him without looking at myself."

I'm giving thanks tonight to my former 14-year-old hoodie kids, growing into young adulthood in all its messy glory. I was barely 23 when I started at YMC, and I'm going to be 27 soon: and I owe many of the good things in my growing-out-of-young-adult life to stumbling and tumbling and growing right alongside my mentees. When we say that you'll change two lives when you become a mentor... we really, really mean it.

Sarah

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Laura & Mariela

"I would like to thank my mentor for being there for me all the time. One thing that my mentor did that let me know she cared for me was when she trusted me and I also trusted her. One thing that I learned from this program that would help me grow and make a better life for myself is to trust more people and I will have more friends".

-Mariela

Tony's Blog: Transformation is a Transferable Skill

Giovanni steps into my car: "Tony, I got a 98 on my math test! Algebra II"

"Wow" I respond. "That's your hardest subject."

Gio: "I know, at first 'functions' made my head hurt. But I stayed with it, just kinda stared at the page and didn't give up, and finally I got it. I need to stay with it more though because I can't explain how I got it yet."

Tony: "You mean, like how you lost the weight."

Gio: "Yeah, I just found what works for me and stuck with it, no matter what anybody else said."

Tony: "That's your gift. Even when you were big and guys were making fun you stayed true to who you are."

Gio: "Yeah, people are tellin me I should write a book."

Tony: "What do you think they see in you?"

Gio: "That I can do anything I put my mind to."

Tony: "That sounds like Tim" (Gio's mentor). What would you say in your book?"

Gio: "I would tell my story. How I lost all the weight and how that makes me know how strong I am. But, I'm playing basketball now, and even though people are saying I can do anything I set my mind to, I go out on the court and there are guys that are six foot seven! I think that each time you accomplish something, life gives you something else to work on."

Tony: "So how do you keep yourself going when so many others would give up?"

Gio: "They don't see the outcome. So they quit before they get there."

Where is all this wisdom coming from? At 14 this boy was naive as they come, but thoughtful and true to himself. Perhaps having to endure the barbs of his peers, prepared him to have a solid inner core, to be able to stand tall in his own truth. He's still only 16 years old. He gets up every day at 5am to catch the bus from South Central LA to attend Pacific Palisades High School 30 miles away, because "it's a better school and I can learn more there."

Gio continues: "I lost 120lbs. I gained back 20 when I started working out in the weight room." Muscle weighs more than fat.

Tony: "What inspired you?"

Gio: "My mentor Tim." Then he continues thoughtfully, "it was about 50% Tim and 50% me."

That's what mentoring can do. It helps you believe in yourself. Tim is a lifelong surfer, now in his late 60's who calls me from time to time to thank me for bringing this wonderful young man into his life. He is a tough mentor, and full of love. Giovanni met Tim in our Surfing Program and Tim began taking him to surf every weekend. Because of Gio's size, at first he couldn't stand up on the board. So, we all celebrated the new surfing style that he invented: 'the three point stance'. Now he is up and dropping into waves almost at will. He hadn't been surfing as regularly lately, but told me on this trip: "Tony, I found my stoke again."

Now, with pride gushing from every pore, Giovanni tells me about his assignment to give a persuasive speech. His teacher gives a crosswise look when he says that he is going to speak on "Green Skittles vs. Yellow Skittles". Gio then proceeds to elucidate the positive qualities of the color green and how it stands for growth and moving forward. He talks about yellow being the color of depression...

"Now hold on a minute." I interrupt. "How do you know that?" I ask, dumbfounded.

Gio: "It's because of that painting on the wall of the classroom. It was the last painting of that artist who was depressed."

I venture a guess: "van Gogh?"

Gio: "Yeah, I think that's the guy. He was really depressed before he died and that painting had a blue sky but the bottom part was all yellow."

He is referring to Vincent van Gogh Wheatfield with Crows.

He goes on to tell me more about his oration (which got an A). He wants to tell me the last line of his speech:

"When I popped the Green Skittle in my mouth it was like a renaissance, a rebirth of vagrant ideas".



Yes, Gio: you should write a book.




Gio then and now




Tony

Friday's Follow Up

"Failure is impossible" Susan B. Anthony

Tony's blog: When the heart breaks it creates an opening for others to enter...
Tony discusses how love is possible when hearts that have been broken come together and through those wounds get to know each other in a way that was not possible before.

Tuesday with Mentor and Mentee - Amy & Ana
Ana thanks Amy for always being there and knowing that she can count on her mentor.

Never can say goodbye...
Juliana shares how wonderful it feels to be a mentor at the year end celebration for the Zenith Mentoring Program.

Pharmaceutical drugs are STILL drugs
shares an article about the dangers of pharmaceutical drugs.

Surfing this Sunday! Have a great weekend.
La Judy

Pharmaceutical drugs are STILL drugs

Safe Drug Drop Off - Sheriff Baca, LA County Communities, and Narconon Join Together to Get Drugs Out of the Medicine Cabinet

Drug abuse among the youth has long been an issue. In recent times though, there has been an increased abuse of pharmaceutical and over-the-counter drugs. It is a popular belief among youth that it is "safer" to get "high" off of prescription or over-the-counter drugs than off of illegal substances. In reality though, regardless of whether the drugs are legal or illegal, an excessive amount anything or taking something without medical consent can be extremely dangerous. Due to the fact that most kids have access to these drugs in their own homes, an effort is being initiated by the Los Angeles Sheriffs office to try and create a disposal zone for the drugs that people no longer need or are expired.

"Mail-boxes" will be created where people can "drop off" any drugs that they no longer need or are expired and the Sheriffs Department will dispose of them. People can also drop off any "illegal" drugs they want to get rid of. This program will be piloted at the Sheriff's Office in Lomita and if the public responds positively by actually using it then more "mail-boxes" will be created across Los Angeles county.

This "mail-box" initiative may create an incentive for parents to get rid of any drugs they may not need more quickly to reduce the chance of any kids accessing them. The community does need to be more informed on the dangers of consuming pharmaceutical drugs and over-the-counter drugs for recreational use especially since the focus is always on illegal substances. The intentions of this program seem to definitely be positive but it is up to the community to actually use the mail boxes.

Agueda