"With My Victim in the Room"

Too much clothing for a warm day, hiding tattoos that mark his claim to a few blocks in South Central Los Angeles. Fresh out of juvenile hall for activities dictated by his gang, the young man who appears older than his years, has been sitting sullenly but attentively in the corner of the room at our annual retreat in the Big Bear Mountains. He is watching, listening for a sign that acceptance into a healthy community that has eluded him all his life might finally be forthcoming.

I recite the Half Boy Story that I learned from Michael Meade.  Something in that telling stands him up and his own story must be revealed. He is shaking and his voice quivers.

“You tell that story and you tell my life” he says.

He recounts the beatings at an angry father’s hands. He peals back the sleeves of his coat to reveal the green of inked tattoos mingled with the black scars of cigarette burns from a father’s sadism. He recounts how he sought refuge in the streets only to find more violence and confusion.

“I became a monster” he proclaims.

He pleads with the other boys in the room not to follow his ways, not to get caught up in gang-banging.

“You think you are going to get protection from your homies, but what you get is a target on your back.”

Finally he says: “I never thought I would find this kind of place. I never thought I would find men that would welcome me and show me love and acceptance like this…and I never thought I would be telling my story with one of my victims in the same room.”

He can’t get himself to make eye contact. So, the young man, identified as the victim, stands up and walks across the room. They embrace. The tears flow. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

We stopped a gang that day.  Help us keep this experience alive for youth who need us.  Donate to our annual campaign.  Click here. Even a little helps alot.

sincerely,

Tony
Tony LoRe, CEO/Founder

ALL FOR NOTHING

As I sat at my desk today, and looked across from me at one of my favorite people in the world, I asked a simple question: “How are you?”

“Not good”, and when Derry answers like that, my stomach sinks, and I prepare to hear the news about someone else who has died. This was the third shooting of a friend this week that Derry had told me about. Thankfully, the first two were not fatal, sadly this last one was; and it is a story I have heard all too often, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was confronted by someone who thought he was from a rival gang, and although he wasn’t and confronted his killer with his innocence, it didn’t matter - “he was shot once in the head and to make sure he was dead, he stood over him and shot him 6 more times” she explains in a voice taut with the strain of pain. “I’m just trying not to think about it…”

But we keep talking. This is the second funeral she will be going to this year, of a young man who has lost hislife to gang violence. “Tommy was the first funeral I went to, I was 14.” “He was my first too,” I remember - by far one of the most excruciating experiences of my life. “My mom told me she didn’t want me going to funerals, and I just didn’t get it then… I didn’t know she was saying that she didn’t want me to have to go through this over and over again”. Derry has been to at least one funeral a year in the 12 years since Tommy’s funeral. “And for what? A street that is still going to be there after they are gone? For a block? All for nothing…” she sighs in frustration.

I have run out of I am sorry’s and I know that there is nothing I can say that will make a dent in her pain, so we sit in silence for a moment. I will never be able to comprehend the maelstrom of emotions this courageous woman faces when confronted with the death of her friends and loved ones. What I do know is that she is part of the solution. She walks with strength, and love and unwavering, unconditional belief in the young people we work with. She is light. She is a mentor. She is my hero.

How Gang violence impacts High School Football

It is tragic when one of the LA Times lead stories is about how two High School Football Teams are each playing without a player that had been killed through Gang Violence. Sad too that the article finishes talking about the need for increased security at LA Unified High School Football Games. But this is the reality in the Community that our young people face, and why now more than ever we need to provide more resources and more places for young people to be safe, away from the deadly streets.